Caregiving Support: Caregiving through the Holidays
Holidays have a way of magnifying the feelings of stress we have experienced all through the year: sorrow, anger, frustration, loneliness, exhaustion. It can seem impossible to get everything done, the shopping, cooking, decorating, etc., and still manage day -to-day affairs and perhaps a job, and be the primary caregiver of a loved one with dementia. Be kind to yourself this year, review the following suggestions and see if any could help make this season a little lighter. Your life has changed— it is ok to update your traditions.
Have realistic expectations of yourself. First, identify the things that mean the most to you about the holiday and make accomplishing that your top priority. Then, listen to your body and your spirit, and when it says you’ve had enough, stop and rest. You don’t have to go to every party. Maybe it is easier for you to have a small group of family or friends come to your home and ask everyone to bring a dish. Cut back on your shopping, or do what you can on-line.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, or to delegate. Chances are, you have people in your life who want to help, but don’t know how. If someone asks you if there is anything they can do, take them up on it. Maybe they can sit with your loved one while you run to the bank, or engage them while you wrap presents. Maybe they can pick up your groceries, or if they are handy, they can fix your leaky faucet.
If you do go to a gathering at someone else’s home, have a plan in place. Communicate with your family your desire to have opportunities to socialize, and identify in advance who will engage or monitor your loved one so that you can relax for a few minutes.
Be prepared. Being around a crowd can be overwhelming for a person who is cognitively impaired. Sometimes a little work done in advance can make an outing go more smoothly. Bring props or activities that will help keep your loved one involved: bring a photo album, put on music, or a favorite tv program. Maybe there is an activity she/he can participate in, like making the salad or setting the table.
Avoid overindulging. It can be easy to overindulge in alcohol at a festive gathering, especially if you have been highly focused for a long time. The feeling of being able to let go can lead to a miscalculation on what you can handle. Stay mindful and pursue healthy self-care habits. If you feel a family gathering is getting out of hand, it is absolutely ok to make it an early night.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are Caregiver Support Groups that you can attend in person, or on-line. Counseling is also available via telehealth as well. Sometimes it is impossible for the caregiver to get out of the house. Take advantage of the information and compassion that trained professionals are able to provide. If you would like to talk to someone, please reach out to our staff at NeuroCog Solutions. We are here to help.
